Wizards & Warriors.

Wizards & Warriors, developed by Rare, LTD and published by Acclaim Entertainment in 1987. This game was amazing. I didn’t think it would be that good upon first glance. The guy’s helmet looked retarded (yes, fuck your political correctness, I used the word “retarded” in its colloquial sense). In fact I didn’t like it when I first saw it. But I got over that very quickly.

Arcturus’s older brother “Dre” picked it up at Toys R’ Us over at the Nortgate Shopping Center in Revere, MA, up the street from their aunt’s house. We used to play it in the basement where his grandmother and father lived. It was awesome. I remember watching Dre’s brother direct Kuros (the game’s protagonist) through the tree tops of the first level, down into the hole in the tallest tree into the second phase where he battled giant killer bees to get to the boss.

I eventually got a copy of the game myself. Amazing. I remember being in the volcano level and finding the horn. Had no idea what that was supposed to do. Eventually found out that players could use it to reveal hidden doors.

I loved the item selection in the game. The dagger was brilliant, launching out from Kuros’s sword attack and returning like a boomerang. Or the three potions: red for invulnerability, purple for a higher vertical jump, and blue for faster running speed. All temporary but sometimes the blue and purple were necessary for overcoming certain obstacles in the game. And the cloak of levitation… nice.

I also remember being in that level the day my mother brought me to have a plantar wart removed from my toe. How upsetting. The fact that I had to leave my game and also that I was having this thing that I neither asked for nor wanted removed from my foot. I think they froze it and then used acid to remove it. It wasn’t so bad. Smelled kind of heinous though. Gross, yes, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. It’s still the truth.

Oh the humanity. It never ceases to amaze me the things I can remember by associating away from video games I used to play as a kid.

I eventually returned from my trip to the doctor’s office to hunt down and destroy my nemesis, Malkil, the evil wizard. Little did I know that he’d return in the much more challenging sequel: Ironsword: Wizards and Warrior’s II.