Journal: 02/21/2010.
Yesterday’s Recap
As I laid my head down to sleep last night I recounted my actions of the day. I surprised myself by having accomplished a great many things that I hold as important for my life. Some of them may seem pretty basic. Keep things in perspective. For a guy that’s bedridden with serious depression the little things seem to slip by the wayside.
- Meditated twice (for 15 minutes and five minutes)
- Read excerpts from Michelle Tea’s memoir “The Chelsea Whistle”
- Played my guitar
- Practiced singing
- Took a walk
- Brushed my teeth
- Trimmed my nails
- Shaved
- Showered
- Ate
- Had a single cup of tea (as opposed to multiple doses of caffeine)
- Avoided pornography and its accompanying behaviors (which if you know anything about my addictive sexual patterns this in and of itself proves to be a minor miracle)
- Watched another episode of Kitchen Nightmares and further distinguished my own crappy behavior by observing another talented professional with a broken spirit and taking notes about said observations
- Spoke with my mother, whom I tend to avoid
- Got out of my own way and called my father, whom I’ve been avoiding
- Invoiced a client that I’ve been putting off dealing with
- Dealt with my credit card company as they’ve been calling me non-stop for days
- Did math problems for fun (yes, math problems – to engage my left brain and get it running laps again!)
- Washed my laundry
- Published a new posting on “Honesty” on this here blog
That’s all good stuff. And I did it all without really paying attention. Awesome.
Today’s Intentions
Today I intend on:
- Taking a walk
- Putting my laundry away
- Grooming
- Organizing my room
- Making my bed
- Doing math problems for fun and exercise
- Stretching
- Meditating
- Fasting from listening to music/increasing silence
- Posting to my blog
I’ve already showered, retrieved my laundry, meditated for five minutes, practiced being mindful in the shower, eaten a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, and managed to avoid indulging my body-mind’s highly intense sexual cravings. And I took some voice memo notes on my relationship with “social status.”
On with the day.
You’re currently reading “Journal: 02/21/2010.”, an entry on The Redemption of Todd M. Fay.
- Published:
- 02.21.10 / 3pm
- Category:
- Journal Entry
"Much like you, I've had many names, played many roles, lived many lives:
Adam. Able. Cain. Thoth. Lancelot. Merlin. Icarus. Machiavelli. Robin Hood. Loki. Lucifer. Casanova...
The jester. The martyr. The redeemer. The avenger. The leader and the follower. The social butterfly and the hermit. The conformist and the renegade...
The paladin. The serpent. The university student. The club kid. The entrepreneur. The apprentice and the teacher. The rising star and the fallen angel...
The prodigal son. Musician. Philosopher. Athlete. The protagonist, antagonist and narrator. The best friend; the arch-nemesis. A jack-of-all-trades and a an expert...
To be the enigma and the answer - this is my choice...
You see, I am human and divine. I am both and I am neither...
I was who I was. I did what I did. I had what I had. I said what I said. I felt how I felt. I thought what I thought. I was who I was.
I am who I am. I do what I do. I have what I have. I say what I say. I feel how I feel. I think what I think. I am who I am.
I will be who I will be. I will do what I will do. I will have what I have. I will say what I say. I will feel how I feel. I will think what I think. I will be who I will be.
I am not my name. I never was. I Am Who I Am.
Now, I am to pose the question to you: "And you are...?"
~ Todd M. Fay (Tuesday, September 8, 2009)
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